美國文化的五大謊言 Five Lies Our Culture Tells By David Brooks
美國文化的五大謊言
四年前，奧巴馬擔任總統期間，我出版了一本名為《品格之路》(The Road to Character)的書。當時美國文化狀態似乎不錯，我關注的是個人如何深入自己的內心生活。特朗普擔任總統期間，我在這個星期又出版了一本書，《第二座山》( The Second Mountain)。很明顯，這段時間情況不是很好，我們的問題是社會問題。整個國家正在經歷某種精神和情感危機。
大學裡的精神健康機構人滿為患，自殺率飆升，數千萬美國人容忍甚至讚美總統令人厭惡的行為。問題的根源在於：我們創造了一種基於謊言的文化。
下面是其中一些：
事業上的成功令人滿足。這是我們強加給年輕人的謊言。在他們年輕的時候，我們把他們當中地位最優越的人塞進大學錄取程序，把成就和地位焦慮置於他們生活的中心。廣告裡那句伴隨終生的格言開始了——如果你成功了，生活會很美好。
每個真正嚐到成功滋味的人都能告訴你，這不是真的。我記得我第一本書的編輯打電話告訴我，這本書進入暢銷書排行榜時。我……什麼感覺也沒有。那是身外之事。
事實是，如果你覺得自己是失敗者，成功可以讓你從羞愧中解脫出來，但事業上的成功本身並不能帶來積極平和或成就感。如果你讓生活圍繞著成功展開，那麼你的野心總會同你的成就競爭，讓你感到焦慮和不滿。
我可以自己讓自己快樂起來。這是關於自足的謊言。它謊稱幸福是一項個人成就。要是能再贏一把，減掉15磅，或者在冥想方面做得更好，那我就幸福了。
但人們在臨終時對自己生活的回顧告訴我們，幸福是在充滿愛的親密關係中找到的。它通過克服自足，建立起一種相互依賴的狀態。它存在於關懷的給予和接納中。
親密關係是人生的意義這種話說起來容易，但很難做到。其他人的複雜性是很難看清的。進行發自內心的深入交流，而不是膚淺的溝通，是件難事。很難停止表演！沒有人教過我們這些技能。
人生是一段一個人的旅程。這是蘇斯博士(Dr. Seuss)的《哦，你要去的地方》(Oh, the Places You'll Go)這樣的書講述的謊言。成年後，所有人都在做自己的旅行，積累一些經驗，經驗最多的人會勝出。這個謊言鼓勵人們相信，自由是沒有約束的。要獨立。保持流動性。保留所有選項的可能性。
事實上，生活得最好的人會束縛自己。他們不會問：接下來我能做什麼很酷的事情？他們會問：我在這裡的責任是什麼？他們會對一些問題做出反應，或者因為一種深沉的愛召喚他們真正的自我。
通過在一個社區、一個組織或一個使命中紮根，他們贏得了信任。他們擁有帶來的持續改變的自由。我們選擇的枷鎖讓我們獲得自由。
你必須自己找尋真理。這是對意義的私有化。學校或社會沒有義務去教授一套一致的道德價值觀。每個人都選擇自己的價值觀。用你自己的方式來回答生活中的終極問題吧！做你自己！
問題是，除非你是亞里士多德，否則你可能做不到。我們中的大多數人最終會有一些模糊的道德感受，但沒有道德明確性或目標感。
現實是，價值觀是由強大、自信的社區和機構創造和傳遞的。人們通過服從社區和機構，並參與其中的對話來塑造自己的價值觀。這是一個群體過程。
比起窮人和不那麼成功的人，富人和成功人士更有價值。我們假裝自己沒有說這個謊，但我們的整個唯才體制都指向了這一點。事實上，唯才體制當中包含著一堆謊言。
它傳達的訊息是，你的成就決定你的一切。唯才體制的虛假承諾是，你可以通過依附知名品牌來贏得尊嚴。唯才體制的情感是有條件的愛——如果你表現出色，人們就會愛你。
唯才體制的社會學認為，社會是圍繞著一組內部小圈子組織起來的，內部是有成就的人，外部是其他人。唯才體制的人類學認為，你不是一個需要拯救的靈魂，而是一組需要最大化的技能。
難怪今天做年輕人這麼難。難怪我們的社會正在分裂。我們接受了超個人主義的謊言，並將它們作為不言而喻的假設，讓它們支配我們的生活。
我們大談政治革命的必要。但更重要的是文化革命。
戴維·布魯克斯(David Brooks)自2003年起擔任《紐約時報》專欄作者。他是《品格之路》(The Road to Character)一書的作者，即將推出新書《第二座山》(The Second Mountain)。
翻譯：晉其角
Five Lies Our Culture Tells
The cultural roots of our political problems.
By David Brooks
Opinion Columnist
Four years ago, in the midst of the Obama presidency, I published a book called “The Road to Character.” American culture seemed to be in decent shape and my focus was on how individuals can deepen their inner lives. This week, in the midst of the Trump presidency, I’ve got another book, “The Second Mountain.” It’s become clear in the interim that things are not in good shape, that our problems are societal. The whole country is going through some sort of spiritual and emotional crisis.
College mental health facilities are swamped, suicide rates are spiking, the president’s repulsive behavior is tolerated or even celebrated by tens of millions of Americans. At the root of it all is the following problem: We’ve created a culture based on lies.
Here are some of them:
Career success is fulfilling. This is the lie we foist on the young. In their tender years we put the most privileged of them inside a college admissions process that puts achievement and status anxiety at the center of their lives. That begins advertising’s lifelong mantra — if you make it, life will be good.
Everybody who has actually tasted success can tell you that’s not true. I remember when the editor of my first book called to tell me it had made the best-seller list. It felt like … nothing. It was external to me.
The truth is, success spares you from the shame you might experience if you feel yourself a failure, but career success alone does not provide positive peace or fulfillment. If you build your life around it, your ambitions will always race out in front of what you’ve achieved, leaving you anxious and dissatisfied.
I can make myself happy. This is the lie of self-sufficiency. This is the lie that happiness is an individual accomplishment. If I can have just one more victory, lose 15 pounds or get better at meditation, then I will be happy.
But people looking back on their lives from their deathbeds tell us that happiness is found amid thick and loving relationships. It is found by defeating self-sufficiency for a state of mutual dependence. It is found in the giving and receiving of care.
It’s easy to say you live for relationships, but it’s very hard to do. It’s hard to see other people in all their complexity. It’s hard to communicate from your depths, not your shallows. It’s hard to stop performing! No one teaches us these skills.
Life is an individual journey. This is the lie books like Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, the Places You’ll Go” tell. In adulthood, each person goes on a personal trip and racks up a bunch of experiences, and whoever has the most experiences wins. This lie encourages people to believe freedom is the absence of restraint. Be unattached. Stay on the move. Keep your options open.
In reality, the people who live best tie themselves down. They don’t ask: What cool thing can I do next? They ask: What is my responsibility here? They respond to some problem or get called out of themselves by a deep love.
By planting themselves in one neighborhood, one organization or one mission, they earn trust. They have the freedom to make a lasting difference. It’s the chains we choose that set us free.
You have to find your own truth. This is the privatization of meaning. It’s not up to the schools to teach a coherent set of moral values, or a society. Everybody chooses his or her own values. Come up with your own answers to life’s ultimate questions! You do you!
The problem is that unless your name is Aristotle, you probably can’t do it. Most of us wind up with a few vague moral feelings but no moral clarity or sense of purpose.
The reality is that values are created and passed down by strong, self-confident communities and institutions. People absorb their values by submitting to communities and institutions and taking part in the conversations that take place within them. It’s a group process.
Rich and successful people are worth more than poorer and less successful people. We pretend we don’t tell this lie, but our whole meritocracy points to it. In fact, the meritocracy contains a skein of lies.
The message of the meritocracy is that you are what you accomplish. The false promise of the meritocracy is that you can earn dignity by attaching yourself to prestigious brands. The emotion of the meritocracy is conditional love — that if you perform well, people will love you.
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The sociology of the meritocracy is that society is organized around a set of inner rings with the high achievers inside and everyone else further out. The anthropology of the meritocracy is that you are not a soul to be saved but a set of skills to be maximized.
No wonder it’s so hard to be a young adult today. No wonder our society is fragmenting. We’ve taken the lies of hyper-individualism and we’ve made them the unspoken assumptions that govern how we live.
We talk a lot about the political revolution we need. The cultural revolution is more important.
David Brooks has been a columnist with The Times since 2003. He is the author of “The Road to Character” and the forthcoming book, “The Second Mountain.” @nytdavidbrooks
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